East of Ealing
The third book in "The Brentford Trilogy", following on from "The Antipope" and "The Brentford Triangle". Once again it features the further adventures of Jim Pooley, John Omally, and all the regulars at the Flying Swan.
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Necrophenia
ON THE VERY LAST DAY EVER, EVERYTHING WILL HAPPEN The symptoms have been studied, the diagnosis is confirmed, the prognosis is bleak. The universe will cease to exist in just twelve hours – just twelve hours, during which time all of the loose ends must be tied up, all of the Big Questions answered and all of the Ultimate Truths revealed. It promises to be a somewhat hectic twelve hours. During which… a Brentford shopkeeper will complete a sitting room for God. A Chiswick woman will uncover the Metaphenomena of the Multiverse. An aging Supervillain will put the finishing touches to his plans for trans-dimensional domination. Serious trouble will break out at the New Messiah's Convention in Acton. And a Far-Fetched Fiction author will receive Divine Enlightenment. In TICK TO0CK KILL THE CLOCK, the world's leading exponent of Far-Fetched Fiction pulls out all the literary stops to produce a truly epic work of imagination: twelve interlocking tales, one for each hour left on the clock. Will the universe end with a bang or a whimper – or something else entirely, possibly involving a time-travelling Elvis Presley with a sprout in his head?
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Necrophenia
ON THE VERY LAST DAY EVER, EVERYTHING WILL HAPPEN The symptoms have been studied, the diagnosis is confirmed, the prognosis is bleak. The universe will cease to exist in just twelve hours – just twelve hours, during which time all of the loose ends must be tied up, all of the Big Questions answered and all of the Ultimate Truths revealed. It promises to be a somewhat hectic twelve hours. During which… a Brentford shopkeeper will complete a sitting room for God. A Chiswick woman will uncover the Metaphenomena of the Multiverse. An aging Supervillain will put the finishing touches to his plans for trans-dimensional domination. Serious trouble will break out at the New Messiah's Convention in Acton. And a Far-Fetched Fiction author will receive Divine Enlightenment. In TICK TO0CK KILL THE CLOCK, the world's leading exponent of Far-Fetched Fiction pulls out all the literary stops to produce a truly epic work of imagination: twelve interlocking tales, one for each hour left on the clock. Will the universe end with a bang or a whimper – or something else entirely, possibly involving a time-travelling Elvis Presley with a sprout in his head?
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Nostradamus Ate My Hamster
Robert wants to be a star in the movies. Using his computer he has invented a system that could put the old stars back on the screen, alongside him. He has the script and the money, but Hollywood isn't keen. Could the perfect partnership lie with Ernest Fudgepacker of Fudgepacker's Emporium?
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Retromancer
When the world's all wrong and it needs setting right, who're you gonna call? Hugo Rune, of course: a man who offers the world his genius, and asks only, in return, that the world cover his expenses!
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Retromancer
When the world's all wrong and it needs setting right, who're you gonna call? Hugo Rune, of course: a man who offers the world his genius, and asks only, in return, that the world cover his expenses!
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Snuff Fiction
With all the hassle smokers get nowadays, it's hardly worth it. It's time to move on to something else. Something which doesn't bother anybody else.Yes, snuff is about to make its biggest ever comeback. And the guy who came up with that one is going to be a very wealthy individual.
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The Antipope
This story uncovers suburbia's darkest secrets – mostly in The Flying Swan, a cosmic Rovers Return where Neville the barman and Archroy, owner of five magic beans, do battle with beasts of the occult and in particular the rather unpleasant Pope Alexander VI, the last of the Borgias.
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The Brentford Chainstore Massacre
There is nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come. And there can be few ideas less bad or more potentially apocalyptic than that hatched by genetic scientist Dr Stephen Malone. Using DNA strands extracted from the dried blood on the Turin Shroud, Dr Malone is cloning Jesus.
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The Brentford Triangle
A sequel to "The Antipope", this is the second novel in "The Brentford Trilogy". All over Brentford electrical appliances were beginning to fail, could it be that it had been chosen as the first base in an alien onslaught on planet Earth?
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The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
The time is now, the place is just around the corner from reality and Magic is the new Rock 'n' Roll: 21st century high-tech designer magic. It's finely tuned, personalised and very exclusive. It will cost you an arm and a leg and possibly even your soul, but it's real and it works. Robert Rankin is Britain's second most popular writer of humorous fantasy after Terry Pratchett; BIG MAGIC is the first in a trilogy written in his unique and very funny style.
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The Toyminator
Somewhere over the rainbow and just off the Yellow Brick Road stands Toy City, formerly known as Toy Town. And things are not going well for the citys inhabitants. There have been outbreaks of STC - Spontaneous Toy Combustion - and there are strange signs and portents in the Heavens. Preachers of Toy Citys many religions are predicting that the End Times are approaching and that a Toy City Apocalypse will soon come to pass. But can this possibly be true, or is there a simple explanation - an alien invasion, for instance. With the body count rising and the forces of law and order baffled, it is the time for a hero to step forward and attempt to save the day. Well, two heroes actually, Eddie Bear, Toy City Private Eye and his loyal sidekick, Jack: our courageous twosome are about to face their biggest challenge yet, to save not only toykind, but the world of mankind too. Which should keep them out of the pub for a while.
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The Witches of Chiswick
Henry Ford wasn't wrong when he said that, "history is bunk". He could still remember the days when the wireless transmission of energy had powered motorcars, mighty airships and space cruisers. And when Britannia ruled not only the waves, but all of the Earth and much of the cosmos besides. Have you ever wondered how Victorians such as Jules Verne and H.G. Wells managed to dream up all that fantastic futuristic fiction? Did it ever occur to you that it might just have been based upon fact? That War Of The Worlds was a true account of real events? That Captain Nemo's Nautilus even now lies rusting at the bottom of the North Sea? That there really was an invisible man? No? Then what about the other stuff?
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Waiting for Godalming
God's other son, Colin, who was edited out of the Bible when Jesus got artistic control, is a bit pissed off. Well wouldn't you be, with your brother stealing the lime-light like that? But now God's been murdered, and there's no way Colin's gonna let the meek inherit the Earth. He's in charge now, and there's gonna be some changes around here…
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Web Site Story
They wrote it off as a scare story. The Millennium Bug was the non-event of the 20th century. But they were wrong, because the bug was real. It's a computer virus and it's about to do a deadly species cross-over, from machine to mankind.
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