fb2Benjamin Daniels is angry. He is frustrated, confused, baffled and, quite frequently, very funny. He is also a GP. These are his confessions.
A woman troubled by pornographic dreams about Tom Jones. An 80-year-old man who can’t remember why he’s come to see the doctor. A woman with a common cold demanding (but not receiving) antibiotics. A man with a sore knee. A young woman who has been trying to conceive for a while but now finds herself pregnant and isn’t sure she wants to go through with it. A 7-year-old boy with “tummy aches” that don’t really exist.
These are his patients.
Confessions of a GP is a witty insight into the life of a family doctor. Funny and moving in equal measure it will change the way you look at your GP next time you pop in with the sniffles.
From the people who brought you the bestselling Confessions of a GP.
From stampeding nudes to inebriated teenagers, young nurse Michael Alexander never really knew what he was getting himself into. But now, sixteen years since he was first launched into his nursing career – as the only man in a gynaecology ward – he’s pretty much dealt with everything: Body parts that come off in his hands; Teenagers with phantom pregnancies; Doctors unable to tell the difference between their left and right; Violent drunks; Singing relatives; Sexism; …and a whole lot of nudity.
Confessions of a Male Nurse is a touching, shocking and frequently hilarious account of one man’s life in nursing.
On vacation from school, Denis goes to stay at Crome, an English country house inhabitated by several of Huxley’s most outlandish characters–from Mr. Barbecue-Smith, who writes 1,500 publishable words an hour by “getting in touch” with his “subconscious,” to Henry Wimbush, who is obsessed with writing the definitive History of Crome. Denis’s stay proves to be a disaster amid his weak attempts to attract the girl of his dreams and the ridicule he endures regarding his plan to write a novel about love and art. Aldous Huxley’s first novel, Crome Yellow, was published in 1921, and, as a comedy of manners and ideas, its relatively realistic setting and format may come as a surprise to fans of his later works such as Point Counter Point and Brave New World. Some who know only Brave New World may not know that as a 16-year-old planning to enter medicine, Aldous Huxley was stricken by a serious eye disease which left him temporarily blind, and which derailed what certainly would have been a prominent career as a physician or scientist. Crome Yellow has often been called “witty,” as well as “talky,” and it certainly owes as much to Vanity Fair as it may, surprisingly to some, owe to Tristram Shandy, although one might think that characters such as Mr. Barbecue-Smith and his remarkable writing theories could have some literary antecedents in Lawrence Sterne. Lambasting the post-Victorian standards of morality, Crome Yellow is a witty masterpiece that, in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s words, “is too irnonic to be called satire and too scornful to be called irony.”
Простая работа на летний сезон обернулась главному герою тяжелым испытанием. Теперь он не просто — принеси, подай и больше не мешай. Теперь он — доставай, пихай, и лизать не забывай. Водонос для женской волейбольной команды утром, и машина любви ночью. Сможет ли он пережить ежедневные нападки от доминирующих представительниц прекрасного пола?
I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.)
I appoint the rest of the world’s unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool “graduation” and PTA meeting.
To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading “Get a job. I’m dead,” and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids.
I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You’ve got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: “You’re All on Your Own Now. Enjoy.”
From the wicked imagination of award-winning writer Warren Ellis comes DEAD PIG COLLECTOR, a love story with a classic Ellis twist. So while it might be a love story, it’s also about killing people and disposing of their bodies in the most efficient manner possible.
DEAD PIG COLLECTOR introduces readers to Mister Sun, a very proficient businessman whose trade is the murder and spotless removal of human beings. Like any businessman, he knows each transaction is only as good as his client—and today’s client, in Los Angeles, has turned out to be so dangerously stupid that Mister Sun’s work and life are now in jeopardy…
Lawyer Saul Goodman of Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad offers his own particular brand of funny, down-to-earth legal advice.
Got the long arm of the law around your neck?
Does Lady Justice have her eye on you?
Were you set up at a lineup?
Saul Goodman can help!
There are some crazy laws out there. Did you know that in New Mexico there’s a law that says “idiots” can’t vote? Or that Massachusetts still has a ban on Quakers and witches? Or that in Georgia it’s illegal to put a donkey in a bathtub?
Even if you’re not bathing a donkey (and hey, if you are, no judgment from me!), you could be breaking the law right now and not even know it. That’s why you need Don’t Go to Jail! You can carry the advice of a seasoned legal practitioner with you anywhere you go, helping you to stay out of the courts and in the good graces of the criminal justice system.
Want to be your own attorney? Want to avoid getting hauled in on a warrant? Want to keep the cops from discovering the baggie of “your friend’s” marijuana stashed under the passenger seat of your car? This is your chance to get those tips and many more savory bits of indispensable legal advice—all for much less than my usual hourly fee.
About The Series: Steve Victor is a man who studies sex. He studies it from all angles as well as upside-down and right-side-up. He not only studies it, he loves it and that makes his research even more fun. He is also the one-man organization known as O.R.G.Y. O.R.G.Y. stands for, according to Victor, the Organization for the Rational Guidance of Youth. He named it that because having a name that correctly indicated the true purpose of studying sex would likely get too many doors shut in his face and to Victor, the open doors meant more chances for money and the real meaning of Obtaining Research Grants for Yours truly. While Victor freely admits that he is working hard for grant money to continue his amazing life style, grants are not his only source of income for as he travels about the world, he also does odd jobs here and there for a 'most secret of American spy organizations'. This unnamed agency, which is definitely not the CIA, might send him to various action spots in the world but it is his lust that makes the spots get active.
About The Series: Steve Victor is a man who studies sex. He studies it from all angles as well as upside-down and right-side-up. He not only studies it, he loves it and that makes his research even more fun. He is also the one-man organization known as O.R.G.Y. O.R.G.Y. stands for, according to Victor, the Organization for the Rational Guidance of Youth. He named it that because having a name that correctly indicated the true purpose of studying sex would likely get too many doors shut in his face and to Victor, the open doors meant more chances for money and the real meaning of Obtaining Research Grants for Yours truly. While Victor freely admits that he is working hard for grant money to continue his amazing life style, grants are not his only source of income for as he travels about the world, he also does odd jobs here and there for a 'most secret of American spy organizations'. This unnamed agency, which is definitely not the CIA, might send him to various action spots in the world but it is his lust that makes the spots get active.
Si on en profitait pour s'emmerder à chaque fois que c'est triste, eh bien ce ne serait pas gai!
Je suis la manivelle des pauvres: je leur remonte le moral.
Durant près de quinze ans, Coluche a été le provocateur public n° 1, l'incitateur continuel et indomptable à l'irrévérence et au rire. A la générosité, aussi, avec la fondation des « Restos du cœur ».
Un festival d'éclats de rire, entièrement inédit, tiré de ses innombrables interviews et émissions de télé ou de radio, comme à Europe 1 où il animait la tranche de l'après-midi.
Let’s be honest—nobody has more fun than atheists. Don’t believe it? Well, consider this: For nonbelievers, every day you’re alive is a day to celebrate! And no one celebrates life to the fullest like Penn Jillette—the larger, louder half of legendary magic duo Penn & Teller—whose spectacularly witty and sharply observant essays in Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! will entertain zealots and skeptics alike. Whether he’s contemplating the possibility of life after death, deconstructing popular Christmas carols, or just calling bullsh*t on Donald Trump’s apprentice training, Jillette does not fail to shock and delight his readers. And as ever, underneath these rollicking rants lie a deeply personal philosophy and a generous spirit, which find joy and meaning in family, and peace in the simple beauty of the everyday. Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! is a hysterical affirmation of life’s magic from one of the most distinctly perceptive and provocative humorists writing today.
Just when you thought you’d accepted your own mortality…
Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing essays reveal the chilling and very real experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could—or very nearly already did—bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about it—until now:
• Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first.
• Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space!
• Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.”
If you disliked learning about history in school, it’s because you didn’t have a teacher like this. Intelligent, brutally honest, and crude — learning about history doesn’t suck when you’re learning from The Captain. Each of his 52 lessons bridges the gap between history and everyday life with relatable topics and an outlook that can only be described as “slightly fucked up.”